Finally Feeling Like a Real Teacher

Today I finally found my rhythm as a teacher. The way they set you up here and throw you into the fire, I have been working everyday without truly respecting or caring about my job. Never in my (short) life have I felt that way before. I have had jobs that I didn't like, but I have always been respectful of the work. I am a good worker.

Here so far it has been really different. I arrived at my apartment after midnight on a Friday, and I went to work that Monday. The first two days I observed. I was given no training and no direction, and on Wednesday I was teaching a full day on my own. Once I realized how things were done, I unintentionally alleviated myself of all responsibility, good or bad. I had decided I was just going to go in and try to have as much fun with the kids while I could; maybe make their days a little brighter.

I have had a really hard time not having pride in my job. This experience has already taught me a lot about myself, one thing being that I need to have a job that I can be proud of. I had planned to teach in different countries for the next few years, but I do not know if I could teach for that long. With that said, it is more specific to this program than it actually is to teaching.

Back to the point. This has been a completely stress-free job for me thus far, because I have been running under the attitude that nothing really matters. If they want to fly me out here, and don't think it's necessary to train me in any way, then I am going to do things the way I think is best. I am good with children; I'm a good teacher; and I'm doing it my way.

Today, finally, I felt like I was really doing something right. Now I am really excited to start the next session, because I have a plan. I know what I'm doing! It's so funny; this doesn't change very much in the way of my opinions towards the process. I think they would have much better success if they took the time to teach us how to teach; but now that I've hit my stride, I am filled with confidence that I can make a difference for these students. They will actually be learning in my classes, with my methods and my routine. And, they will even get to have a little fun.

It was a really refreshing feeling -- one of the first times I've been anything but indifferent about work. So that's a definite step in the right direction.